IPL = Mario?

Couple of weeks back, India was treated to its largest display of wealth this year.
I'm not talking about when A. Raja's bank balance became public, I'm talking about the IPL auctions. In the cricketing world's equivalent of slave markets, film stars, businessmen and cricketers descended on Bangalore to sell and buy each other. Much has been written analyzing who got a raw deal, who was overpriced, who was sold at exactly the right price, what Saurav will do now, and so on. Since I'm the Man, I realized something. I had an epiphany.

For a cricketer, the whole IPL season is like Mario.

Yup - the most famous Italian-American plumber-turned game character ever. How, you ask? I'll tell you.

       

First, you remember how Mario gets the mushroom powerup and turns big? That's exactly what happened to a lot of cricketers couple of weeks back. If you had told anyone last year that Robin Uthappa would fetch $2.1 million, they would have thought you were at the magic mushrooms again. And Saurabh Tiwari being sold for just shy of that mark - that, my friends, is the effect of the Mario mushroom.
Second, and most important, the coins. Most Mario games are about collecting lots of big gold coins. Strangely enough, that's what the IPL is about, too. The only (minor) difference is that in the IPL, you don't have to hit blocks with your head to release coins. Everything else is exactly the same. In Mario, the coins disappear into the top of the screen. This symbolizes the transitory nature of the money earned by some cricketers in the IPL - it evaporates into thin air after being spent on drink, women and expensive apartments.
Again, in the auctions, a lot of big name veterans were left out in the cold. Ganguly, Gibbs, Lara and Gayle are still up for grabs. This again has its partner in the Mario world. Have you ever seen an elderly person playing Mario well? Have you ever seen an elderly person playing Mario at all? Of course you haven't. The reason is simple - they aren't too good at it. The Sachin Tendulkar exception just proves the rule - it's just like the inventor of Mario. He probably is the only elderly person who plays Mario well. A veteran playing IPL would probably be lost, kind of like this:

Next, the music. Both the IPL and Mario have tinny music that sounds like it was produced by a 10 year old. For 10 year olds. The music is rather catchy, though.

Fifth, the magic star which makes you invincible. There are some players who will always be part of a given IPL team. For example, Sachin, because he's god. There is also Kieron Pollard. After his 9 sixes, he could rob every house in Mumbai and still be welcomed into the team.
And these are just the obvious similarities. There are deeper threads that connect Mario and the IPL.
Sixth, at the end of one of the Mario game levels, you are apologized to, and told that the Princess is in another castle. This is a metaphor for the transitory nature of success in the IPL. A cricketer comes in for the money, the fame, the glamour. Even at the end of the season, he has to work hard over the next year to be bought next year for a decent amount. He never gets what he came in for. His princess is in another castle.
Seventh, Lalit Modi.

I'm not saying Lalit Modi was in Mario, though the big turtle at the end... No, Lalit Modi was overthrown and someone else took his place. This is like your elder brother/ sister coming into the room when you were playing Mario as a kid, pushing you aside, and starting to play.

And this takes us to the very nature of the IPL. What are the players and, indeed, the very game of cricket but pawns in the hands of the team managers? Mere money making machines. So too is Mario - he is a plumber collecting coins controlled by a person sitting at a keyboard, pressing up, down, left, right, shift and control.
Convinced?

PS: The only difference seems to be the cheerleaders. Maybe I should play Mario again and check if I missed out any skimpily clad women in the background somewhere.